Hidden Surprises

My only excuse? It was dark. And it's not what you're thinking.

It was that early morning time, the silvery dawn peering blearily through the blinds, painting the darkness in stripes of pure silver. Beautiful. The dawning of a new day, limned in the dreams of the last.

I didn't want to corrupt the beauty with the impassive glare of the living room lights, so I crept blindly through the gloom, groping my way to the kitchen when—

SQUELCH!

I paused. Confused. My foot felt warm, hot Play-Doh mashed between my toes, exactly like—

'Damn you, you shitting dog!'