The Great British Whack Off

With her tongue performing a tick, Lucy slowly squeezed at the tube. Icing oozed out, orchestrated by Lucy's calm and steady hand. Lucy rubbed tenderly, starting from the bottom, working her way up to the tip. Gently, Lucy massaged the base, making sure for certain, that every last drop, was released.

Next Lucy grabbed two, large, perfectly round, spheres of chocolate. Lucy placed one in her mouth, looking cheekily guilty as she did so. She smiled as it rolled around inside her mouth, bubbling, melting, on her pink tongue.

"This show is boring dad!"

He'll understand one day I thought.