Jeff and Ted are walking through Walmart before coming across purple toilet paper.
"Look at this!" Jeff says, pointing to his discovery.
"Wow, what they going to come out with next!?"
"Exactly! It's becoming less about use and more about allurement!"
"Apparently, it's the softest in the universe!"
A middle-aged woman picks one up.
"Excuse me, what made you go for that toilet paper?" Jeff enquires.
"I'm just very curious."
"That's personal, don't you think!?
"If you must know it popped up on my computer, after researching a medical condition, you should respect people's privacy!"